Nice subject, say whaaat?

So every once in a while, when people wouldn’t understand, I email my self. A list of problems and whatever happening that moment.

I’ve been doing this since I was 12 years old. Freaking alay 12 years old. I would rant on and on and on and on about my crush sitting on my chair. Oh the simplicity of childhood. I think that was my first bites of puberty,

Whatever happened at the moment back then must be horrifying because I wrote a poem:

Oh hormones,

You rhyme with nothing,
Though you cause much problems
in my already stinking life
You give me all the dandruff you have,
all the pimples,
give me a headache,
after thinking about the stupidest topic ever
Gee hormones..
I’m reluctant to grow up,
because of YOU

like whaaat? That doesn’t even qualify as a poem, but looking back, it’s just amazing how now I’m here, the other side of puberty, seeing the other side on the topic of boys, seeing the other side on a lot of things. Though my old self was right about her(my?) reluctance, It all just get darker, and more interesting as time flies. Oh well. life.

Oh, and I’m having a hard time with this html thing. bear with me.



I’m really good at making excuses. I know i know, excuses are a way….. I don’t really memorize that quote. Anyhow, excuse number 1: I am too lazy to type on my phone.
That’s the only excuse actually.
My brain functions better with pen and paper.
The word flows better with my horrible cursive.

So as per usual, I write something, then type it on my phone. And typing on this phone is fairly annoying with all the uncovenient(I know that’s the wrong spelling but bear with me) capitalization and sometimes the touch screen goes crazy putting the cursor. And the worst. When I type with tears and blood (exagaration(this might also be misspelled)), and this phone erase it all.
Happened to the next stardust story on the series. That’s why I procrastinated on the series. Us manadones call it maraju. I marajued to this app for erasing my hardwork:”

Aight that’s all. I have this anti procrastination life program going on, hopefully it works out and I can publish more pronouns!! 

tam here, adios


I’ve been trying to post this past week but the internet or this phone maybe is being stupid. It even deleted one of the post that took me so long to finish writing. Argh. Okay then.

tam here, adios

Stardust~wasting time

He’s just wasting her time.
At least that’s what he thought.
He knows his heart would crumble, but real love is about seeing their other half happy. He knows that of he keeps dragging their relationship aimlessly like this, he’ll break her heart. No. Even worse. He’ll destroy her.
Their relationship has no point. No marriage in sight.
Maybe she’ll find somebody else to love before their relationship gets deeper, eventually it will drown them both. It’s better to drop her now.
There will still be time for her to, maybe, find someone else to love. To make her happy. To build a family together. Somebody who wouldn’t have a problem putting a ring on her. Just a thought of it made him shiver.
She’s destined to be his. At least that’s what he wants. But he knows not to be selfish. That’s what love is all about.
Maybe someday she’ll understand that it’s all an effort to make her happy.
Her heart might break for a day or two, a month or two…
A year or two…
But she’ll get her life back on track.
Yes, in the eyes of the media he’ll be the villain, but who cares as long as she can and always will be happy?
He prayed again and again, but maybe this is God’s way out for them. Maybe their love story is meant to go on with them being apart.

tam here, adios


A year, two years, three…
Eventually everybody knows.
Knows the reason they clicked so well on screen, and always sticks together off screen.
Midnight birthday surprises;
As the earth revolves again and again around the sun, always one more candle on the anniversary cake.
Red carpets hand in hand; interviews side by side; and by time, they have the most envied across the the country.
Time flies after that one question that broke their solitude years back.
Now people wonders when the next question will be popped; the vows exchanged.
It’s not like they don’t know or don’t care.
They talked about it before under the stars. When they couldn’t come up with a solution, they had a silent agreement of not talking about it anymore. Just let it flow wherever it’s meant to flow.
It’s not that they don’t love each other.
Their flirty fluttery young love feeling have been changed with real solid love years ago.
Now it’s another wall barricading them from each other.
Their wall of beliefs.
He goes to the mosque, she goes to the church.
They have noticed that from the beginning, they just didn’t know that they would last this long for this to be a problem.
Their love is just too strong to take the easy way out, but yet too weak to let go of what they’ve been holding on all their life.
People said that love conquers all, but it seems that there are greater love than humanly love.

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